I know it has been a long time sinced I blogged, but with such an important and sensitive subject, it has taken me awhile to do it. So here is the story of our sweet baby.
On Dec. 21 I went in for my regular pre-natal check-up. I was 35 weeks along. Jackson was with me because it was going to be a quick, routine appointment. The nurse came to check the baby's heartbeat, but couldn't find it. She said it was no big deal and that the doctor would be able to find it. I already knew before the doctor came in that Junior had died. He tried to find the heartbeat as well. I then asked if everything was ok. He said "It doesn't look good. I don't see any amniotic fluid and there is no heartbeat." My heart sunk. The doctor left the room and Jackson came to my rescue.
He hugged me and we knelt to pray together. The doctor walked in on us and said "You are turning to the right source." He then confirmed that the baby had passed. I tried to get a hold of Brian but couldn't reach him for 3 hours. I called my Mom and tried to tell her what happened. Through the tears, I could barely get the words out. Letting people know was one of the hardest things I have had to do. Slowly, one by one, each of my sisters called me. Each of them all have their own struggles and trials, but they all tried to relate and comfort me in their individual ways. Their love meant so much. My Mom and Dad kept checking on me throughout the day.
My good friend Cara, just happened to call. With out hesitation she started to help. She took Jackson and then went to pick McKenzie and Taylor up from school. She told their teachers what happened. All the teachers were supportive and offered prayers on our behalf. My children are two of only 12 LDS students in the whole school.
Brian had been in surgery all day. When he finally got to his phone, he had numerous missed calls and a text from his brother-in-law Casey that just said to call Tanya now. I realize now, I needed that three hours to calm down and breathe enough to even tell Brian what happened. We were able to talk about it for his entire drive. He also called the doctor to make delivery plans.
When he got home we were able to get the kids back together. Jackson had brought me the picture we have of Christ and a child and said, look Mommy, the baby's with Jesus.
Shortly after Brian got home we went to the hospital so I could be induced. The Bishop and Glenn, Brian's friend, came to give us a blessing. I can't remember much of what was said, but I can still remember the feeling. The spirit was so strong. Even now, I can still feel it and find comfort from it. Junior was born at 2:30 am on Dec. 22nd. The delivery went well, the same as usual. With out a cry to offer, it was hard to know when he was born. He was born a perfect tiny baby, he looks just like us. He was beautiful.
When things like this happen, it is so hard to know what to say or what to do. We had friends we hadn't talked to for months that came to share their love and sympathy. It meant so much to know that people cared and loved us, even when there was nothing they could say or do to change it. We received calls from all over the world that expressed the same love as those that were here shared with us. As terrible as the events are, it has brought us together and strengthened friendships. We can not express our gratitude to all of those that contacted us.
My parents came to Wisconsin on the Sunday before Christmas. This was such a blessing for us and a sacrifice for them. They were going to spend the holiday with Lani and Casey in preparation for Casey's T-Cell transplant. Brianne and Nate were also able to come from Michigan. They came just as soon as they could. Brianne was able to make it in time to help me home from the hospital. I can't even begin to describe the feeling of leaving the hospital without my baby. I am just so grateful that Brian and brianne were with me, they helped fill that empty feeling. My family was so much help and it was wonderful to be surrounded by all of them.
While my family was here, we went to the funeral home to dress Junior. Brian, my parents, and my sister Brianne all came with me. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do it myself. But it turned out to be a very spiritual and special moment for all of us. We all got a chance to hold him.
At the first of the year we headed out to Idaho to have the funeral for Junior. He was buried in the Griffeth family plot in a beautiful area with amazing views. It will be a lovely place for resurrection at the second coming. 
We were so pleased and blessed with all of the support that we received. Our good friends, the Christiansens, came up from Utah for the funeral. It was so wonderful to see them. We also had the Kjar's, the family whose house we are renting, come as well. 
We had a small and simple service for Junior. Jana, my sister-in-law, sang one of our favorite songs, "Be Still My Soul". The bishop of Brian's parent's ward gave a few words. Then my dad led a family prayer. 
We then headed to the graveside and had a dedicatory prayer offered by Brian's dad. It was short but the spirit was so strong. 
It was wonderful to see all of Brian's family. We were even able to get a family picture together, something that hasn't happened in all long time. We then spent a few days with family before heading back to Wisconsin.
When we got back to Wisconsin we received so much service from those around us. We had meals brought in from our kids teachers, parents of my piano students, and ward friends. We were given lots and lots of flowers, sweet cards, and donations to help with the funeral costs. Even now, almost 4 months later, we are still receiving these same tokens of love. We will never able to thank all those that have shown their support. We just hope that they all know how deeply grateful we are.
One of the things I have learned through all of this, is when there are no words, there is still love and friendships. If anyone ever asked me what they should do for someone else, I would tell them just to be there for them. Don't stay away no matter how hard it might be to express how you feel. I needed those that were with me. I know nothing can make it better or change it. I need companionship.
The family is adjusting and it has been an amazing chance to teach our kids about the gospel and eternal life. We are so impressed at how well they have done. We have felt the spirit so much and it has strengthened our family. While it is still hard, we are doing ok. Some days are better than others, but we know that we are going to make it. Our testimonies are stronger, our love has grown, our family is stronger than ever. We know now how much faith the Lord has in us, and that He will protect and bless us in our time of need.
When in situations of stress we wonder if there is any more in us to give, we can be comforted to know that God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed. No one was foreordained to fail or to be wicked. When we have been weighed and found wanting, let us remember that we were measured before and we were found equal to our tasks; and therefore, let us continue, but with a more determined discipleship. When we feel overwhelmed, let us recall the assurance that God will not over program us; he will not press upon us more than we can bear. (D&C 50:40)
~~~~~~~ Brian James Griffeth, Jr. December 22, 2007 ~~~~~~
On Dec. 21 I went in for my regular pre-natal check-up. I was 35 weeks along. Jackson was with me because it was going to be a quick, routine appointment. The nurse came to check the baby's heartbeat, but couldn't find it. She said it was no big deal and that the doctor would be able to find it. I already knew before the doctor came in that Junior had died. He tried to find the heartbeat as well. I then asked if everything was ok. He said "It doesn't look good. I don't see any amniotic fluid and there is no heartbeat." My heart sunk. The doctor left the room and Jackson came to my rescue.
He hugged me and we knelt to pray together. The doctor walked in on us and said "You are turning to the right source." He then confirmed that the baby had passed. I tried to get a hold of Brian but couldn't reach him for 3 hours. I called my Mom and tried to tell her what happened. Through the tears, I could barely get the words out. Letting people know was one of the hardest things I have had to do. Slowly, one by one, each of my sisters called me. Each of them all have their own struggles and trials, but they all tried to relate and comfort me in their individual ways. Their love meant so much. My Mom and Dad kept checking on me throughout the day.My good friend Cara, just happened to call. With out hesitation she started to help. She took Jackson and then went to pick McKenzie and Taylor up from school. She told their teachers what happened. All the teachers were supportive and offered prayers on our behalf. My children are two of only 12 LDS students in the whole school.
Brian had been in surgery all day. When he finally got to his phone, he had numerous missed calls and a text from his brother-in-law Casey that just said to call Tanya now. I realize now, I needed that three hours to calm down and breathe enough to even tell Brian what happened. We were able to talk about it for his entire drive. He also called the doctor to make delivery plans.
When he got home we were able to get the kids back together. Jackson had brought me the picture we have of Christ and a child and said, look Mommy, the baby's with Jesus.
This was the perfect way to begin teaching the kids where the baby had gone and to begin the grieving process. We continue to be amazed at how much they understand, and the things they have said. It seems that children often have stronger, more simple faithful testimonies than adults sometimes. They teach us and those around us so much more than we could teach them about life, death, and the eternal plan.
Shortly after Brian got home we went to the hospital so I could be induced. The Bishop and Glenn, Brian's friend, came to give us a blessing. I can't remember much of what was said, but I can still remember the feeling. The spirit was so strong. Even now, I can still feel it and find comfort from it. Junior was born at 2:30 am on Dec. 22nd. The delivery went well, the same as usual. With out a cry to offer, it was hard to know when he was born. He was born a perfect tiny baby, he looks just like us. He was beautiful.
When things like this happen, it is so hard to know what to say or what to do. We had friends we hadn't talked to for months that came to share their love and sympathy. It meant so much to know that people cared and loved us, even when there was nothing they could say or do to change it. We received calls from all over the world that expressed the same love as those that were here shared with us. As terrible as the events are, it has brought us together and strengthened friendships. We can not express our gratitude to all of those that contacted us.
My parents came to Wisconsin on the Sunday before Christmas. This was such a blessing for us and a sacrifice for them. They were going to spend the holiday with Lani and Casey in preparation for Casey's T-Cell transplant. Brianne and Nate were also able to come from Michigan. They came just as soon as they could. Brianne was able to make it in time to help me home from the hospital. I can't even begin to describe the feeling of leaving the hospital without my baby. I am just so grateful that Brian and brianne were with me, they helped fill that empty feeling. My family was so much help and it was wonderful to be surrounded by all of them.
While my family was here, we went to the funeral home to dress Junior. Brian, my parents, and my sister Brianne all came with me. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do it myself. But it turned out to be a very spiritual and special moment for all of us. We all got a chance to hold him.
At the first of the year we headed out to Idaho to have the funeral for Junior. He was buried in the Griffeth family plot in a beautiful area with amazing views. It will be a lovely place for resurrection at the second coming. We were so pleased and blessed with all of the support that we received. Our good friends, the Christiansens, came up from Utah for the funeral. It was so wonderful to see them. We also had the Kjar's, the family whose house we are renting, come as well. We had a small and simple service for Junior. Jana, my sister-in-law, sang one of our favorite songs, "Be Still My Soul". The bishop of Brian's parent's ward gave a few words. Then my dad led a family prayer. We then headed to the graveside and had a dedicatory prayer offered by Brian's dad. It was short but the spirit was so strong. It was wonderful to see all of Brian's family. We were even able to get a family picture together, something that hasn't happened in all long time. We then spent a few days with family before heading back to Wisconsin. When we got back to Wisconsin we received so much service from those around us. We had meals brought in from our kids teachers, parents of my piano students, and ward friends. We were given lots and lots of flowers, sweet cards, and donations to help with the funeral costs. Even now, almost 4 months later, we are still receiving these same tokens of love. We will never able to thank all those that have shown their support. We just hope that they all know how deeply grateful we are.One of the things I have learned through all of this, is when there are no words, there is still love and friendships. If anyone ever asked me what they should do for someone else, I would tell them just to be there for them. Don't stay away no matter how hard it might be to express how you feel. I needed those that were with me. I know nothing can make it better or change it. I need companionship.
The family is adjusting and it has been an amazing chance to teach our kids about the gospel and eternal life. We are so impressed at how well they have done. We have felt the spirit so much and it has strengthened our family. While it is still hard, we are doing ok. Some days are better than others, but we know that we are going to make it. Our testimonies are stronger, our love has grown, our family is stronger than ever. We know now how much faith the Lord has in us, and that He will protect and bless us in our time of need.
When in situations of stress we wonder if there is any more in us to give, we can be comforted to know that God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed. No one was foreordained to fail or to be wicked. When we have been weighed and found wanting, let us remember that we were measured before and we were found equal to our tasks; and therefore, let us continue, but with a more determined discipleship. When we feel overwhelmed, let us recall the assurance that God will not over program us; he will not press upon us more than we can bear. (D&C 50:40)
~~~~~~~ Brian James Griffeth, Jr. December 22, 2007 ~~~~~~
